Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
