My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
