the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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