Your face is a jimmy john
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize