So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
