I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
