i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
just tell him i said nine months
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
