You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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