And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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