Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
