I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
