just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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