i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
