the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Randomize
