So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
