This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize