the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
