GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I queefed so loud it echoed.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
