i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
