Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
