I hope mine doesn't look like that
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
