I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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