yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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