i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Im part way to drunk.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
