Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
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