You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
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