I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
