i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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