i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
