He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
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