And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
