as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize