I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
