You were right. It hurts to walk today.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
