it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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