And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
