You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
