Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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