What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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