i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
