My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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