you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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