I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I think a kid would responsible me up
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
