Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Randomize
