I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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