I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
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