I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Randomize
