Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
