i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
