i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
