My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Boobs speak an international language.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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