I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize