apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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