I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Still dying that you shit outside
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
