he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Threesome in a minivan. New low
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
