Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
