If that was your dad, he is hot
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Randomize
