I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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