I heard we made out
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Randomize
