It's Friday. Sex?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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