he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
