We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
