At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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