so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Randomize